Acquaintance in the internet: is it a waste of time or an opportunity to change
your personal life for better?
Today I'd like to speak about internet meetings. For sure many of us tried
this means - someone just for interest, someone for serious purpose. At first
glance, it's easier to get acquainted in the internet than for example in the
street - there are a lot of men and women who have a wish to communicate. But
it's rather difficult to find a friend or a mate in the internet. And the there's
one reason : there are not so many people in the world who you can establish
strong friendly or romantic relations. The internet gives us more possibility
for search of friends - but not any dating site gives you people who you are
interested in. You should have to search yourself. And we begin to deal with
the first " rocks".
There's no secret for anybody that any social net is full of people seeking
" one night" relations, fans of virtual sex and just inadequate persons.
This discovery can unsettle a person who has serious intents to fins his second
half. Many messages like " nice picture, maybe we'll meet?", "
interested in sex, my phone +0xxx xx xx", and even messages of openly "
adult" character fall upon unprepared user. And here the " weakest"
are fallen off, those who speak later: ' there's nothing good at such sites".
Those who cope with this ordeal and are not made to leave the internet space
come to the next level.
The second stage can be characterized by the words " to fight and seek,
find and not to give up". So we found the strength not to pay attention
to searchers of intimate adventures and read attentively the application forms
of other users, write messages. There's even a correspondence with two-three
people, or maybe more. Everything would be good but this stage can be prolonged
and the situation will be like this: you constantly correspond with people but
you have no wish to meet in real life. And you can have a feeling of uselessness
and hopelessness of your efforts. Of course it happens that a person is lucky
to find his partner at once and then there's a wrong opinion that's it's so
easy "to find your second half in the internet". No, no and again
no. I won't deal with " lucky" cases in this article, the talk is
about standard scenery.
So, where did we stop? At the stage when we begin communication with users ,
but this communication is nipped in the bud without developing. And again the
most impatient and expressive people leave the arena. I'd like to give some
advice before coming to the third stage.
1. When filling in the form, do it to the full extent. Write simply, without
unnecessary quotations- and the most important be responsible when writing some
words about yourself.
2. As a rule to understand if this person is interesting for you three- four
messages are enough. If you feel that you are ready for detailed and deep communication,
offer your interlocutor to use icq or skype. The communication in dialogues
can help you to see the level of your likeness and common interests. But all
this is not a key of successful informative communication. You should remember
this too. That's why when corresponding with a person first of all pay attention
to your feelings: is it interesting for you, is the talk easy, how open and
interested is the person. At last the main is mutual interest, there's no communication
3. When corresponding with a person there are some alarming signs for you:
1) he/she just speaks only about him/her, doesn't read your messages attentively,
doesn't " hear" you. You won't have communication as it should not
be only one way.
2) Assume you correspond for two -three weeks. You are ready to meet with a
person but he /she refuses because of lack of time or any other pretext. In
this case there's a great opportunity that someone else is corresponding with
you . Even the phone talks are not always reliable.
3) You haven't met in real life but he/she already speaks about feelings. Of
course all this is romantic but I can assure you: this is the most alarming
sign. Of course you can be lucky and your case is an exception. That's why if
a person speaks about words of love to you you'd better insist on real meeting.
Again if a person refuses it's a serious ground for suspicions. In general,
there can be two variants. Either a person is easy-minded, liable to present
emotions, or he/she is not real and just some joker is making a fool of you.
Be especially careful with a person who lives in other city. Because of this
it'd be easier for him/her to refuse a meeting and the opportunity of deception
I can say that romantic feelings in the net have specific character and come
easier than at personal meetings. It's explained simply - when we don't see
and hear a person, we use our imagination. And again the mystery intrigues-
and usually young romantic men and girls become the victims. That's why it's
one more reason not to draw a communication in the net - your imagination will
give you an image of the person you are communicating with, and this image will
consolidates in your consciousness. When it comes to real meeting ( if) you
risk to find out that the person is not like you imagined. It can happen that
you can communicate in the net but not in real life. I'll say once more that
perhaps you will be lucky and you will find a friend or partner- don't be too
suspicious and wittingly make up your mind to failure. Just be careful and bear
in mind the written above.
Of course when you don't deal with a problem yourself, you won't be more careful
- but I can assure the readers that such " clashes" can be very traumatic
and it's better to keep safe from them. A person who finds out the truth about
his/her interlocutor, that instead of a girl his correspondence was with a man
( or vice versa) runs the risk of get an " injury" or moral trauma.
Only attentiveness and simple precautionary measures can prevent such cases.
So, if you notice that your interlocutor speaks so much romantically about your
correspondence ( and you feel like you are falling in a magic dream), refuses
a real meeting, doesn't call you, if calls - speaks little, and besides lives
in another city - you are deceived for sure. Of course you can shut your eyes
to everything but then the collapse of your illusions will be more stressful.
That's why never delay a real meeting. You can understand a person when you
see him, talking to him in reality. And only in reality you can feel mutual
sympathy, friendship, love. There is no love in the net without real meetings.
Maybe it can be ( we are not mathematicians to talk about dogma!..) but think
yourself. I've already written about the perspectives of such love, and in 95
% of cases the end is like this.
The third stage - a period of real meetings with your internet interlocutor.
Meetings at the cafe, walks in the park, visiting the theatre( so many variants).
And here you have to hope for your luck and Your Majesty Chance. Early or late
you will be lucky to meet someone you need. At last I'd like to say that perhaps
you won't have to seek someone as your person will find you . This person will
contact you, offers a meeting and will be the initiator of your relations. Moreover
that often we don't have time or wish to dig in variety of persons, trying to
find something for yourself. Sometimes the process of search is very tiring.
There's an opportunity that such a " hunter" will save you from long
Unfortunately it happens so that the initiator is not valued, taking a serious
hunter for an thoughtless joker who decided to have fun in real life and net.
But at the same time there are just a few of such " serious hunters"
and soon they should be put in the Red Book. You can relax and wait that such
hunter will be interested in you ( and it's so pleasant to feel that someone
is hunting for you) , but you can wait for too long if not for the whole life.
So you should cat yourself as well. By the way, you can use not only dating
sites but the whole net space : theme forums, role communities, etc.
Perhaps the most important in the search of partner is patience. You can be
lucky at once or may wait for a year or more till you meet your partner. it's
really difficult to look for someone in the internet as well as in real life.
I can only wish you patience, wisdom, optimism and please believe that you will
find your Real Pearl in the pile of trumpery.